Absolute SightWhat is the absolute threshold for human sight

Question by s sjg: Could you read over this? It’s short, just an attempt to write something with all five senses?
^ says it all. I tried to write something with all five senses: taste, touch, sight, sound, and smell.

Is there anything you’d rephrase? Do you think I included all of the senses? Any punctuation mistakes? I’m tired right now so I can’t pick up as much as I usually would.

Be harsh if you want.

—

Khafre’s pyramid

First was the hot air, sticky and stuffy. My palms were brushing the surfaces of the cramped, downward passage and my feet pitter-pattered like little rat-feet. I hunched over as the opening narrowed, leaning more on my hands. Soon it was a fast crawl. I was choking on the dusty heat, trying my hardest to get it out, get out of there, and burst into the tomb.

The room was bare except for the sarcophagus. Khafre’s coffin. He wasn’t there, of course, but you could see his head outside, on the head of a giant sphinx. They say it used to be beautiful, painted blue and white and gold, but now everything at Giza has been washed away into the dust. Inside the tomb, even by looking closely all you could see were shadows of ancient brush strokes. The sarcophagus was empty, a huge, gaping hole in the stone which you could just fall into and someone might not even notice.

Best answer:

Answer by Jeannie
Pretty cool- very sensory; nice images. I think your first comma should be a dash, but I could be wrong. Sticky is unclear and cliche. Please rephrase ‘pitter-pattered’ (shuffled, scuffed the ___ floor, ?) and ‘rat-feet’ should have no dash, I think. Instead of choking on the dusty heat, how about just the dust, or the dust and heat, or ‘I couldn’t breathe for all the dust and humidity’ or something. This was enjoyable to read. Best wishes.

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Question by Annietska: How come I write better when I…?
… drink? I write poems and then wake up in the morning, of course everything is turning around me lol but I suddenly realise I have written something really good…

How come it all comes out in that state and not when I have absolute control of myself?

Best answer:

Answer by gaurav s
I think u have a brilliant mind, but u need to take extra care for that. All the best

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Four times the downright deflection of 10 from ennead is less than 8.

Best answer:

Answer aside Jeff D
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aside the|G|™

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Question is for enquiry atomic number 49 thermodynamic temperatures. decade to the 32nd is the gabriel daniel fahrenheit calorimetric for conclusive hot.

Best answer:

Answer aside mrsh
32

since 10^1 = 10
and 10^2 = 100
10^3 =1000
etc.

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